OK, deep breaths whilst I write this as I am still suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) I think.  Well OK, that's an exaggeration but you know me :0)

The scenario:  me trying to get back from Athens - the UK to see my family and friends over the New Year period.
Now, contrary to popular belief, the Greeks WEREN'T striking yesterday (27DEC10) so I managed to get to the airport by public transport absolutely smooth as a baby's bottom, and the flight was a pure joy (apart from the sarcy Australian air hostess who spent the whole flight in the galley at the back b*tching about her latest 'male encounter' to the gay steward, who rolled his eyes at me several times, but that's another story).

BUT

upon arriving in the UK, (you know - that 'civilized' country that colonized half the world at one point - where the students these days only OCCASIONALLY show their disgust at the current situation regarding being pushed further into poverty, not like those 'uncivilized' Greeks who riot on a weekly basis), well, that's when all HELL breaks loose!

1) I exit the baggage hall - go to buy a ticket to take me to Central London. 
Despite a huge queue in the ticket hall, only 2 tellers working (hmmmm, not TOO unlike Greece to this point).

2) I get on the train to go to Central London - only to find that the harassed woman in ticket hall has sold me a SLOW train ticket to Central London. 
'Can't I just pay the extra to stay on this fast train?' I ask of the steward.
'No' he says and ejects me from the train at LHR Terminal 1, telling me to wait for the slow train (deep sigh!)

3) OK, so I FINALLY reach Paddington station.  There are ENGINEERING works (as well as snow) so I am told I have to travel halfway across London to go to Waterloo to catch a train to the West Country.

4) Hmmm, I am still in a relatively upbeat mood (going to be seeing friends/family, etc) but in a HURRY to get halfway across London by tube.  Plus I have a lot of baggage, so I go to the barriers and show my ticket (in a hurry) to the lady - asking her to open the gate for me.
She does so, yelling after me 'Thank you!' in a sarcy way - I turn round - yell back:
'I SAID thank you!  Are you deaf?'  (I've been living in Greece, we don't keep quiet about injustices).  She looks a bit shell shocked and promptly shuts up.

5) Bl**dy Underground/tube has half the stations closed due to engineering works - so a normally 5 min journey takes 20.

6) By the time I get to Waterloo, another ticket sales agent cheerily tells me I've missed my train by 2 mins, and I have an hour's wait for the next (and last) one - and it's the slow train and will get in past midnight
(I landed at LHR at 4:50 in the afternoon!!!!)

7) FINALLY get on train - am cheered up slightly by the fact that my neighbour is a relatively good looking Australian who is reading a book in French, so also has a certain amount of intelligence as well as good looks.

BUT

8) I think I scare him as when we reach Salisbury - THE TRAIN BREAKS DOWN!!  So I let off a string of expletives!!!  (Remember, I am used to living in Greece and externalising my emotions).
Result: after half an hour waiting for a replacement train, he moves to a different seat.

*Sigh*  It was too good to last.

9) Finally reach my destination AFTER 8 HOURS (longer than my flight, I might add). 
The funniest part of this is this:  I find my dad curled up in the back of the car in the station car park, in a duvet, clutching a flask of hot water and a half eaten cheese sandwich hanging from his hand.

After knocking very loudly on the window (to make sure he's not frozen to death) he leaps up and out of the car and hugs me so hard, he almost breaks me in half!
"I thought you'd never make it!  I came prepared, as you can see" he gestures to the paraphernalia in the car.
"The man in the ticket station wouldn't open up the waiting room for me to wait in, saying it's against the rules."  Yes, thinks I, that man is sitting in a warm ticket office at the same time - arsehole!

"Hi dad" I droll.  "We are seriously going to have to re-consider our options about this train malarkey - like how about you move out to Greece with me?"

Hmmmm, he hasn't dismissed it immediately - let's see what the future may hold.

In the meantime - I have discovered Brits are RUDE, SARCASTIC and PLAY BY THE RULES TOO MUCH (and don't have enough people manning the ticket booths).

At least Greeks don't PRETEND to be polite - at least they're CONSISTENT in their hostility and outward display of emotions.

Greece = 10  UK = Nil (and extra points to Greece for their weather too).

xxx

Yes, that's right - it really happened. 
As regular followers of my blog will know, the 'anarchy' that is Greece means regular public transport strikes these days running up to Christmas.  And getting to work is by way of a taxi.  Hmmmmm...I realised I was being far too 'British' about the whole thing when I politely stopped one, started to tell him my destination when an old Greek lady comes up behind me, bashes me on the head with her umbrella and whilst I am recovering from shock, she jumps in my taxi and off he goes!!!!!

OK, this is all out WAR from now on!  Old ladies can only use their umbrellas...I, on the other hand, have MUCH better 'assests' at my disposal and SCREW FEMINISM, I intend to use them!
So yes, as a result I am 'utilising' my assets as well as standing in the middle of the road with my hand out, so they either stop or I get run over.  I am going with the assumption that 'man and his car' are well bonded and Mr Taxi Man does not want a female shaped dent on his bonnet, hence he will exercise the former and stop.

Then I do the coy 'oh woe is me' act, i.e: 'I'm a poor English lady who can't get to work!' and you can visibly SEE their chests swelling with the male 'I am rescuing the poor English lady!' pride - and it works a treat!

So really, you see people... in these difficult economic times, life has come around full circle again. Women need to USE what's given to them (and I ain't talking about our brains either).  *Sigh*  I know all you raging feminists will be shouting 'But you've set us back 100 years with your antics!' but you know what?

SCREW YOU and your feminist ideals!!  If you can get a taxi just by using your brains, then tell me how to do it please!

In the meantime, I am going to dress like one of these women in the latest Vegas (a Greek band) video, and see if I can manage to get 3 taxis stopping at once ;0)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx8YrjKrOgY&feature=player_embedded

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Ok, as you can see it's been a really full week this week!

So, the bad stuff first:  There've been a serious of 24 hr strikes on Public Transport this week and also yesterday (15DEC - my birthday I hasten to add) was a strike of EVERYTHING, including media, therefore there was a media blackout in Greece. 
Anyway, luckily I wasn't working yesterday so I had a leisurely day with a visit from a friend (and of course Linguine, the cat),  a visit to 2 more friends and finally, in the evening - rounded off 'Sex and the City' style in a lovely bistro with my 2 good girlfriends in the centre of town - followed by drinks and cocktails in a very trendy bar - repleate with a bloody GORGEOUS transvestite with legs like a racehorse (up to his/her armpits) and a strange mix of Athenians.  So what a lovely way to spend the day.

EXCEPT:  apparently, all around me ANARCHY has sent in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ov4M5DJyWFk
 watch the above link to see.  As the Greek press were also striking yesterday, none of us had any idea that this was happening and an email from my dear dad in the UK asking 'Are you alright' alerted me to look at the International press, to see what was happening in the country I currently inhabit (a touch of irony there I think).
Note from this link the dogs quite happily weaving their way in between the rioters...they're quite famous by now, these dogs - the 'Syntagma Dogs', cropping up in photos all the time.   And they're so sweet as well...they're kinda indifferent to it all now - they wear an expression of 'Huh!  Here the crazy humans go again.'

Now, much later on in the evening, my friend and I are sharing a taxi to go into the centre (remember we have no idea this has happened still) and the taxi driver is moaning about having to drive into the centre - and it's when we eventually see rocks on the side of the road, bins burnt out and overturned and the smell of petrol that it dawns on us something happened earlier on.  

In Greece, the tradition for a taxi driver (whether there's a strike of public transport or not) is to 'cab share' so you can quite happily be the only person in the taxi, when he'll suddenly stop and take another fare.  Anyway, yesterday was necessary as people were in deep sh*t trying to get anywhere (due to previously mentioned strike).

So we stop for this woman - 2 seconds later she yells at the driver to stop, she's forgotton something and jumps out and off she runs!  The hilarious thing is, as the taxi driver spent the whole drive moaning, he rounded off with the following comment:


"EINAI AGAMITI KAI TRELLI!!"

(If you're not Greek, it's a rude reference to what happens to women if they don't get enough of 'it'!  And it involves the 'f' word.)  I'll let you translate it for yourselves - or ask a Greek friend...I'm sure you know a Greek person somewhere...they're everywhere (said with affection). xx

P.S. for further hileriousness about Greek taxi drivers - take a peek at this:

Ahhhh beautiful Greece...

...beautiful coastlines...

But then comes...

the standoffs...

Still, at least I get to walk down an empty road (I was actually moved on after taking this pic - by a gasmasked policeman)

and lest we forget the rubbish men are on strike too!

So, there I am - sampling the delights of my local supermarket after returning from a delightful English lesson and contemplating an evening with Linguine (the cat, not the pasta) and Chicken Cordon Bleu (the actual chicken dish, not another cat) when I receive a telephone call from a mate.  Apparently it pays off to listen to the radio all day as she'd won 2 free tickets to go to a funky part of Athens (Gazi for those who know it) to a venue that had, for 2 days only an American drummer called Hilary Jones and some Greek pianist (sorry, he's actually apparently quite a famous pianist, so I think I might have sounded a bit patronizing, as is my way sometimes :0/  ) - can I join her?

Yes!  I put Linguine in the fridge and leave Cordon Bleu resting on the couch (er, sorry! I mean the other way around) and hot foot it off to her place for some homemade Spanicopida first (probably spelt wrong, but it's spinach and feta pie - and this time, she's HAND MADE the filo!) before making our way to fashionable Gazi.  Except I'm not feeling so fashionable now, in my jeans and sweater!

Apart from my clothes the evening is, I have to say, bloody fantastic!  I never knew drums could sound so good when played on their own.  And the PASSION in this woman when she plays, and energy too.

One thing of note:  my friend and I decided that the waiters at this venue have surely had to pass some sort of initiation ceremony.  They are truly BEAUTIFUL with well sculpted, well, EVERYTHING!  Especially the square jawline - I swear they all had the same chiseled sculpted look...some sort of factory for making perfect looking Greek waiters perhaps?

Still, it was a brilliant impromptu evening - and FREE (although my one glass of Coke cost 7 euros!!!  I took the glass home, have to get my monies worth!).

You probably can't see it very well, but the drums are being played as well as a piano, honest!

And once again I am reminded why I love this country:  heading home on a very late bus, you'd think n a capital city you might feel a bit unsafe.  Well, obviously you have to be on your guard but remember
1) you don't often get drunk loutish teenagers like in the UK (or generally drunk loutish people in general)
2) if someone (rarely) hassles you, other people tend to get involved !
So, if someone is asking you repeatedly a question and you're feeling uncomfortable, then someone else chimes in to answer that person's question - then this sparks off a debate with the whole of the bus about life in general as other people start to slowly chip in, etc (Greeks invented philosophy don't forget).

Here's a tourist tip for you:  Come to Greece and spend an evening on Public Transport - it's a book writing process and entertainment in itself!